Monday, April 15, 2013
Familyversary
Familyversary-noun
1: The anniversary of the day our family was legally formed: April 3, 2006.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Death/Rebirth
“Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person.”
― Gerard Way
**********
So, I experienced a break-up recently and we had the typical conversation about remaining friends where we said we'd both like to but neither of us were sure it was possible. When I got the final e-mail telling me that no, he's not capable of being friends with me, I cried, of course. The death of a relationship always brings with it a level of mourning. The first thought that occurred to my brain when I woke up the next morning was a quote from Louis C.K.
"No happy marriage ever ended in divorce."
The same is true for any level of relationship. If the relationship were happy, truly happy, it wouldn't end. Except in death (of a person). Any other kind of death of a relationship only occurs when it is not a happy relationship. It could have been happy at one point in time, but it no longer is when it dies.
And what I realized next was my OMG moment:
Every time one of my relationships has ended, I've been propelled forward into the next stage of my life. So it's not even the death of a relationship, it's the death of a life cycle. Perhaps this is why we mourn so hard. We know we're moving from a place where we will never return in our lives and most of the time, we're not quite prepared.
**********
Several months ago, I was explaining to one of my partners about how hurt I get when people leave me and he asked me a simple question, "Why?" I responded, "Why, what?" He asked, "Why do you get hurt?" My initial gut reaction was "WTF? Why would I not be hurt?
For me, almost every relationship I've ever had ended was ended by the other person. People are constantly leaving me. Each time I question, "Why? What did I do? What's wrong with me?" Fortunately, this time, I'm sure it had nothing to do with me. I was clear with this person start to finish and not a single person who knows me can say, "Well, Andrea....there's this one thing you did..."
This situation and having lots of honest folks around who'd call me on my b.s. if I was mucking the stuff has caused me to realize that ALL of the people who've walked out of my life have done so because of something going on with THEM. Whether their issues had something to do with me or not, none of them have been issues with ME. What I mean by that is, there's nothing wrong with me. And there's nothing I could have done differently to prevent any of those people from choosing what they chose.
And now I realize exactly why I wouldn't be hurt. Hurt comes from the thinking there's something wrong. Hurt comes from the mourning and the lack of acceptance of the death, that the death is good and right and natural.
Now instead, I find acceptance. I find acceptance and willingness for this death of a life cycle. I have grown into a new person. This new person is tired of having relationships with people who can't stand on their own two feet or see the world clearly. Tired of fighting people's perceptions of myself and the rest of the world. These relationships cause me emotional turmoil and cause me to question my sanity. Gone are the days where this girl cries when someone leaves her. I have realized that everyone who has ever left me has abused me in one way or another. Why would I mourn the loss of that? Having that leave my life is not sad.
I also find awareness. Awareness that I am transitioning into a new being. This relationship death came while I was on vacation with my family. I was driving, as I always do on vacations and I observed after this death that I had not sped egregiously the entire trip. I made liberal use of the cruise control set at exactly 10mph over the speed limit--at the most! Anyone who knows me, knows this is an extreme change for me, ordinarily I am a speed demon. But that is not ordinary for me anymore.
Who I was as a person was lit on fire and razed to the ground. Like a phoenix, I rise from the ashes, a new bird, ready to take on the next stage of my life.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Remembrance
So, I visited the 9/11 Memorial today.
I didn't even make it to the memorial before I started tearing up.
We had to pick up our passes at the memorial preview site where there were lots of pictures and descriptions and a video playing.
After, we went and stood in the very long line to get into the Memorial.
************
Sometime, during my childhood, I learned about New York City. I must have been somewhere between six and eight years old. I know it was after I moved to Texas but before I really started thinking about what was happening in the world.
My brother told me of all the great things that existed in New York City and I became fixated on one thing only: The Twin Towers. I don't know why. I wasn't particularly interested in architecture, but perhaps the knowledge that two identical towers were the tallest buildings in what seemed the greatest city in the world, simply fascinated me.
As a child, I would frequently talk about the places I wanted to visit. On my short list was the Twin Towers. I wanted to see Manhattan in general, but specifically, I wanted to go up in one of those towers.
My childhood passed in a passing manner and I visited many places in the United States and even went to Niagara Falls, Canada, but I never went to New York City.
When I became an adult and got married, I would tell my husband of the places I wanted to go. Still on my short list was New York City and specifically, The Twin Towers.
Then came that day.
I was just past 22 years old. My husband and I were in downtown San Antonio with our seven-year-old daughter on our way to check out a house we wanted to rent. We had just missed our bus transfer and wandered into the Payless Shoe Source to get out of the sun. The girls inside were listening to the radio.
I heard the word, "Bomb."
I turned toward the cash registers and said to the girls, "Bomb?! Where? What's going on?"
One girl replied, "There's been a bomb threat at Ingram Park Mall and another at City Hall."
"What?! What's going on?"
The second girl said, "Oh, didn't you hear? The World Trade Towers were bombed this morning. They've fallen. There's bomb threats all over the city...."
She continued speaking, but I was no longer listening. My head swam and I fell backwards. Fortunately there was a bench behind me and I only ended up plopping onto it really hard.
My husband continued talking to the girls and my daughter said, "Mommy? Mommy, what's wrong?"
"They're gone, baby. The Towers, they're gone. They're gone. I didn't see the Towers and they're gone."
"What Towers, Mommy?"
At that point, I regained my faculties enough to explain to her which towers I meant (I had wanted to see them so much, I had told her all about them) as I walked her and my husband out of the store. I turned to my husband and said, "Okay, worse case scenario, they say terrorists, I say the whole world could possibly be going to shit. Let's go home, grab some stuff and head to my mom's, just to see what this looks like. If the world goes to shit, we'll be 60 miles from the nearest city, if it doesn't, we'll go home after a day or two."
And so we did. Watching news footage everywhere we stopped that showed the planes, the towers, the people, the screaming, the...
Well, you get the idea, you probably experienced it, too. If you didn't, I'm sure you can look it up somewhere.
************
Needless to say, I've spent a lot of time crying today. I've got other reasons to cry and perhaps, this just caused me to overflow.
Walking through the Memorial and feeling the enormity of it all...
At lunch after, the kids strike up a conversation, but none of them had experienced it as adults. None of them saw the footage of people digging through rubble, heard the sounds from the footage of the time from when the towers were hit until they fell...I wasn't even there in person. I didn't know anyone who was in either of the towers or on any of the flights. I did have a friend who lived in Battery City and had a few accounts from her before she was evacuated. But that's as close as I got.
And still I'm struck. Touched. Long after the event, what happened that day still affects me, the loss of all those lives and the courage exhibited during and after by individuals who had the choice to be courageous or not.
And I find myself needing to do something to honor all of those people.
And I realize that my answer is in my story of the Towers.
I was 22 when the Towers fell. I was four years outside of childhood, wherein I could have begun living the dreams I dreamt as a child and had not. I could have seen them before they fell.
And this is my resolve: In honor of all those who had that choice taken away from them, I will live my dreams. I will not be held back by any notions of "I can't" or "It's too hard."
I am alive. Therefore I can.
I didn't even make it to the memorial before I started tearing up.
We had to pick up our passes at the memorial preview site where there were lots of pictures and descriptions and a video playing.
After, we went and stood in the very long line to get into the Memorial.
************
Sometime, during my childhood, I learned about New York City. I must have been somewhere between six and eight years old. I know it was after I moved to Texas but before I really started thinking about what was happening in the world.
My brother told me of all the great things that existed in New York City and I became fixated on one thing only: The Twin Towers. I don't know why. I wasn't particularly interested in architecture, but perhaps the knowledge that two identical towers were the tallest buildings in what seemed the greatest city in the world, simply fascinated me.
As a child, I would frequently talk about the places I wanted to visit. On my short list was the Twin Towers. I wanted to see Manhattan in general, but specifically, I wanted to go up in one of those towers.
My childhood passed in a passing manner and I visited many places in the United States and even went to Niagara Falls, Canada, but I never went to New York City.
When I became an adult and got married, I would tell my husband of the places I wanted to go. Still on my short list was New York City and specifically, The Twin Towers.
Then came that day.
I was just past 22 years old. My husband and I were in downtown San Antonio with our seven-year-old daughter on our way to check out a house we wanted to rent. We had just missed our bus transfer and wandered into the Payless Shoe Source to get out of the sun. The girls inside were listening to the radio.
I heard the word, "Bomb."
I turned toward the cash registers and said to the girls, "Bomb?! Where? What's going on?"
One girl replied, "There's been a bomb threat at Ingram Park Mall and another at City Hall."
"What?! What's going on?"
The second girl said, "Oh, didn't you hear? The World Trade Towers were bombed this morning. They've fallen. There's bomb threats all over the city...."
She continued speaking, but I was no longer listening. My head swam and I fell backwards. Fortunately there was a bench behind me and I only ended up plopping onto it really hard.
My husband continued talking to the girls and my daughter said, "Mommy? Mommy, what's wrong?"
"They're gone, baby. The Towers, they're gone. They're gone. I didn't see the Towers and they're gone."
"What Towers, Mommy?"
At that point, I regained my faculties enough to explain to her which towers I meant (I had wanted to see them so much, I had told her all about them) as I walked her and my husband out of the store. I turned to my husband and said, "Okay, worse case scenario, they say terrorists, I say the whole world could possibly be going to shit. Let's go home, grab some stuff and head to my mom's, just to see what this looks like. If the world goes to shit, we'll be 60 miles from the nearest city, if it doesn't, we'll go home after a day or two."
And so we did. Watching news footage everywhere we stopped that showed the planes, the towers, the people, the screaming, the...
Well, you get the idea, you probably experienced it, too. If you didn't, I'm sure you can look it up somewhere.
************
Needless to say, I've spent a lot of time crying today. I've got other reasons to cry and perhaps, this just caused me to overflow.
Walking through the Memorial and feeling the enormity of it all...
At lunch after, the kids strike up a conversation, but none of them had experienced it as adults. None of them saw the footage of people digging through rubble, heard the sounds from the footage of the time from when the towers were hit until they fell...I wasn't even there in person. I didn't know anyone who was in either of the towers or on any of the flights. I did have a friend who lived in Battery City and had a few accounts from her before she was evacuated. But that's as close as I got.
And still I'm struck. Touched. Long after the event, what happened that day still affects me, the loss of all those lives and the courage exhibited during and after by individuals who had the choice to be courageous or not.
And I find myself needing to do something to honor all of those people.
And I realize that my answer is in my story of the Towers.
I was 22 when the Towers fell. I was four years outside of childhood, wherein I could have begun living the dreams I dreamt as a child and had not. I could have seen them before they fell.
And this is my resolve: In honor of all those who had that choice taken away from them, I will live my dreams. I will not be held back by any notions of "I can't" or "It's too hard."
I am alive. Therefore I can.
Collecting Children
In my last post, I indicated I would later discuss at length how and why it is I end up with so many of other people's children as members of my family. This is a topic I've been planning to write on for a while and one that comes up often as I tend to be a magnet for children. In fact, as anyone who knows me already knows, my children ARE other people's children. I didn't give birth to them, I met them when they were 4, 3, and 1.
As one of my partners puts it, I tend to collect children. It's not that I view children as objects, quite the contrary in fact. Children are just as naturally drawn to me as I to them. For me, I love to be around children. Children of any age, even my own teenagers making their slip-start ascents into adulthood which send most people running and screaming are pleasing for me and I like to be surrounded by their energy.
Children have this way of viewing the world that adults simply don't have.
When I was a teenager, somewhere around fifteen to sixteen years of age, I began to realize that adults--on the whole--simply couldn't see the world the way a child could. The way that--at that point, I still could--though, I was also aware that I was losing it.
That thought horrified me.
I decided right there and then that I would NEVER forget what it was like to be a kid. That divide I felt between my parents and I. How I felt like the adult world simply didn't understand who I was or what I was going through. Will Smith even had a song about it, "Parents Just Don't Understand." And I resolved that when I was an adult, when I became a parent, I would remember what it was like to be a kid. And then I started right that instant. I started by objectively observing what I and my peers were experiencing. I started observing children. And I continued doing the one thing I had always done...regarding every person I came across as an equal, regardless of their age.
One thing I had to learn about was child development. I recall the number of times throughout my adolescence I was startled to learn that a younger person wasn't capable of x or y task. I hadn't previously been aware of my own development and since I treated everyone as equal, I just assumed everyone could do what I could do. So, I learned that's not how the world works. I learned that people develop at varying rates and then there are some general markers--things to generally be acceptably learned at this age or that--but there are exceptions even to those.
With this new information in mind as I grew into an adult, I started relating to young people. Even when I couldn't really relate. And around nineteen or twenty, I started noticing my way of being had an impact on children I interacted with:
I was in the mall one day, descending an escalator when I heard a shriek of, "Andrea! Andrea!" and found two little blond girls tearing toward me.
I didn't recognize them. AT ALL.
As one leapt into my arms and I instinctively caught her, I looked up to see her mother rushing in to say hello. Oh! These were the daughters of the owner of the Dairy Queen I worked at at my very first job. I couldn't even remember their names. It had been four or five years since I had seen them and I had barely interacted with them then.
Their mother says to me, "The girls have been asking me about you periodically since you left the store."
"Melinda, that was like five years ago!"
"I know! You must have really made an impression on them."
As I racked my brain for how I could have made an impression, all I could recall was sitting and listening to them. When I was on my lunch breaks, if they were there (maybe four or five times?), I would sit and talk to them. They would tell me whatever was on their minds, what they were doing at school, etc. All I did was listen and respond like they were equals, as I always did with everyone I met.
It was many years later before it dawned on me why this made such an impression on a four-year-old and a six-year-old.
And now we come back to why I love children so much. They see the world with a level of purity that adults simply can't any longer see. Children are unafraid and unabashed at being joyful, loving, and kind. They prance along with reckless abandon when something makes them happy and throw their arms around those they love with grand gestures of caring.
Part of my resolution back then in my teen years was to never lose my sense of child-like wonder when viewing the world. This is so much easier said than done. Everything I come across in my day-to-day life as an adult threatens to steal away that perspective on the world. Even my boyfriends are sure that some day I will grow cynical. For the time being, I remain immune.
Children are, for the most part, my vaccinations against cynicism. Like booster shots, they keep my mental/emotional immune system strong and healthy. I'm frequently told I wear rose-colored glasses. Perhaps I'm not the one wearing something that obscures my vision, though. Perhaps cynicism is the real obstruction. Gray tinted glasses that make the world look bleak.
And children love to spend time with an adult who treats them as an equal, laughs at utter silliness, gazes open-mouthed at wondrous things, and does happy dances and throws her arms wide to catch them in greetings.
As one of my partners puts it, I tend to collect children. It's not that I view children as objects, quite the contrary in fact. Children are just as naturally drawn to me as I to them. For me, I love to be around children. Children of any age, even my own teenagers making their slip-start ascents into adulthood which send most people running and screaming are pleasing for me and I like to be surrounded by their energy.
Children have this way of viewing the world that adults simply don't have.
When I was a teenager, somewhere around fifteen to sixteen years of age, I began to realize that adults--on the whole--simply couldn't see the world the way a child could. The way that--at that point, I still could--though, I was also aware that I was losing it.
That thought horrified me.
I decided right there and then that I would NEVER forget what it was like to be a kid. That divide I felt between my parents and I. How I felt like the adult world simply didn't understand who I was or what I was going through. Will Smith even had a song about it, "Parents Just Don't Understand." And I resolved that when I was an adult, when I became a parent, I would remember what it was like to be a kid. And then I started right that instant. I started by objectively observing what I and my peers were experiencing. I started observing children. And I continued doing the one thing I had always done...regarding every person I came across as an equal, regardless of their age.
One thing I had to learn about was child development. I recall the number of times throughout my adolescence I was startled to learn that a younger person wasn't capable of x or y task. I hadn't previously been aware of my own development and since I treated everyone as equal, I just assumed everyone could do what I could do. So, I learned that's not how the world works. I learned that people develop at varying rates and then there are some general markers--things to generally be acceptably learned at this age or that--but there are exceptions even to those.
With this new information in mind as I grew into an adult, I started relating to young people. Even when I couldn't really relate. And around nineteen or twenty, I started noticing my way of being had an impact on children I interacted with:
I was in the mall one day, descending an escalator when I heard a shriek of, "Andrea! Andrea!" and found two little blond girls tearing toward me.
I didn't recognize them. AT ALL.
As one leapt into my arms and I instinctively caught her, I looked up to see her mother rushing in to say hello. Oh! These were the daughters of the owner of the Dairy Queen I worked at at my very first job. I couldn't even remember their names. It had been four or five years since I had seen them and I had barely interacted with them then.
Their mother says to me, "The girls have been asking me about you periodically since you left the store."
"Melinda, that was like five years ago!"
"I know! You must have really made an impression on them."
As I racked my brain for how I could have made an impression, all I could recall was sitting and listening to them. When I was on my lunch breaks, if they were there (maybe four or five times?), I would sit and talk to them. They would tell me whatever was on their minds, what they were doing at school, etc. All I did was listen and respond like they were equals, as I always did with everyone I met.
It was many years later before it dawned on me why this made such an impression on a four-year-old and a six-year-old.
And now we come back to why I love children so much. They see the world with a level of purity that adults simply can't any longer see. Children are unafraid and unabashed at being joyful, loving, and kind. They prance along with reckless abandon when something makes them happy and throw their arms around those they love with grand gestures of caring.
Part of my resolution back then in my teen years was to never lose my sense of child-like wonder when viewing the world. This is so much easier said than done. Everything I come across in my day-to-day life as an adult threatens to steal away that perspective on the world. Even my boyfriends are sure that some day I will grow cynical. For the time being, I remain immune.
Children are, for the most part, my vaccinations against cynicism. Like booster shots, they keep my mental/emotional immune system strong and healthy. I'm frequently told I wear rose-colored glasses. Perhaps I'm not the one wearing something that obscures my vision, though. Perhaps cynicism is the real obstruction. Gray tinted glasses that make the world look bleak.
And children love to spend time with an adult who treats them as an equal, laughs at utter silliness, gazes open-mouthed at wondrous things, and does happy dances and throws her arms wide to catch them in greetings.
Monday, April 1, 2013
FAMILY
Many times, I've been questioned on my family. The questions tend to be similar: How do you define family? and Why is your family comprised of (x person or type of person)?
In my life, I'm working to redefine the term family. The family I was born with, while I will always have love for them, are not necessarily my FAMILY. Various members have caused me great pains through abuses both physical and mental/emotional. I have been uninvited to family gatherings (including funerals) and then had entire weddings (held on my birthday) hidden from me until I found out about them on Facebook. These actions are not actions of love or respect.
Let me repeat those two words: LOVE and RESPECT.
These two concepts to me are the most essential concepts that really, are basic to treatment of all human beings. All human beings are granted an automatic amount of love and respect out of me, not because they deserve it or because they have earned it, but simply because they exist. In fact, all living creatures are granted these from me. More love and respect than that which I automatically grant CAN be earned from me and CAN be lost as well. However, this base amount granted all living creatures can not be lost. If I were to suddenly stop granting this love and respect for any reason, I would lose my humanity.
Back to the concept of Family, then. Family, to me, are the people that come into my life and we synchronize so well that we feel we add value by having each other in our lives. By this definition, anyone in my life can become my family.
Presently, my family is myself, the four young people that live in my house, my two partners, my best friend, and a small host of other people's children. (The fact that there are multiple of other people's children involved in this will be addressed in a separate post.) There were some other adults that recently decided they didn't want to be family with us anymore and there are others sitting on the periphery who may at some point decide to join in.
Let's talk about my family for a bit...We are not a blood family, we are a LOVE family. We welcome all to our fold who are capable of the complete and whole love which we experience for each other. Again, it shall be addressed at length in a separate post, but this is how so many children end up a part of my family....more than any adult, they are capable of complete and whole loves. In fact, they crave it. Mine is a complete and whole love. At all times.
This kind of acceptance though, THIS IS FAMILY. You can take a look at the modern world and come up with any blame you want for why life sucks wall-to-wall, but I see as one of the biggest reasons this fact that we rarely simply accept individuals as they are anymore. Regardless of when or how or why, at some point we humans collectively gave up acceptance of each other at our base levels. We quit looking at another human being and simply seeing the beauty of what was. We now look at ourselves and others as broken and needing to be fixed.
Seeing someone as broken and/or needing to be fixed is neither loving nor respecting that person. I'm not saying we don't all have areas in which we can improve, but there is a fundamental difference between room for improvement and being broken. My iPhone is a perfectly functioning piece of technology. If it were broken in some way, I would take it to Apple and ask them to fix it. There is plenty of room for improvement in it however, starting with Apple Maps. ;-)
And this is the difference. Every member of my family is a perfectly functioning human being. Yes, they all struggle in one way or another. They may have anxiety or depression or some other condition which makes day-to-day life difficult for them, but these are not things that need to be fixed. These are conditions which can be improved upon, whether through diet, exercise, or heaven forbid some sort of medication, but they can be improved and made more workable and less interfering of their lives.
FAMILY. This is how I define it.
In my life, I'm working to redefine the term family. The family I was born with, while I will always have love for them, are not necessarily my FAMILY. Various members have caused me great pains through abuses both physical and mental/emotional. I have been uninvited to family gatherings (including funerals) and then had entire weddings (held on my birthday) hidden from me until I found out about them on Facebook. These actions are not actions of love or respect.
Let me repeat those two words: LOVE and RESPECT.
These two concepts to me are the most essential concepts that really, are basic to treatment of all human beings. All human beings are granted an automatic amount of love and respect out of me, not because they deserve it or because they have earned it, but simply because they exist. In fact, all living creatures are granted these from me. More love and respect than that which I automatically grant CAN be earned from me and CAN be lost as well. However, this base amount granted all living creatures can not be lost. If I were to suddenly stop granting this love and respect for any reason, I would lose my humanity.
Back to the concept of Family, then. Family, to me, are the people that come into my life and we synchronize so well that we feel we add value by having each other in our lives. By this definition, anyone in my life can become my family.
Presently, my family is myself, the four young people that live in my house, my two partners, my best friend, and a small host of other people's children. (The fact that there are multiple of other people's children involved in this will be addressed in a separate post.) There were some other adults that recently decided they didn't want to be family with us anymore and there are others sitting on the periphery who may at some point decide to join in.
Let's talk about my family for a bit...We are not a blood family, we are a LOVE family. We welcome all to our fold who are capable of the complete and whole love which we experience for each other. Again, it shall be addressed at length in a separate post, but this is how so many children end up a part of my family....more than any adult, they are capable of complete and whole loves. In fact, they crave it. Mine is a complete and whole love. At all times.
The
most beautiful thing that has ever been said to me was, "I'm here because I
want to be with you. Your kids, your family, your friends...everything
you do is part of who you are and part of you. And I want to be with
you."
I
was struck past the point of tears at these words. I was struck to
absolute dumb silence, the kind where all I could do was utter a
guttural noise and close my mouth and swallow, but continue to stare at
the speaker.
Those
words, those are a summation of how I love. When I LOVE you, I'm all
in, no matter what--and I love every part of you, even the parts that
make me say, "huh?" No one had ever said them to ME before. Never before
had I ever experienced the absoluteness of that kind of acceptance out
of another human being.
This kind of acceptance though, THIS IS FAMILY. You can take a look at the modern world and come up with any blame you want for why life sucks wall-to-wall, but I see as one of the biggest reasons this fact that we rarely simply accept individuals as they are anymore. Regardless of when or how or why, at some point we humans collectively gave up acceptance of each other at our base levels. We quit looking at another human being and simply seeing the beauty of what was. We now look at ourselves and others as broken and needing to be fixed.
Seeing someone as broken and/or needing to be fixed is neither loving nor respecting that person. I'm not saying we don't all have areas in which we can improve, but there is a fundamental difference between room for improvement and being broken. My iPhone is a perfectly functioning piece of technology. If it were broken in some way, I would take it to Apple and ask them to fix it. There is plenty of room for improvement in it however, starting with Apple Maps. ;-)
And this is the difference. Every member of my family is a perfectly functioning human being. Yes, they all struggle in one way or another. They may have anxiety or depression or some other condition which makes day-to-day life difficult for them, but these are not things that need to be fixed. These are conditions which can be improved upon, whether through diet, exercise, or heaven forbid some sort of medication, but they can be improved and made more workable and less interfering of their lives.
FAMILY. This is how I define it.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Dharma Family is on Vacation!
If you've followed this blog for any length of time...or just happen to know us...you know we LOVE to travel. More specifically, we love to travel by auto. Sure, we'll travel by train, plane, or bus, but we just really prefer the feeling of the open road. Also, we can't leave our cats at home while we go on great adventures.
So, we're at it again. What was originally going to be a 3 week trip that was going to have a few days in NYC, a few days at a conference in NH, and a few days in Niagara Falls has turned into a few weeks exploring as much of the eastern half of the country as possible. Since our conference in NH was canceled (it became too expensive for us) we decided to revel in the freedom of having no schedule for our trip. We've never had one before, so that was going to be new for us anyway. We have friends who moved from Austin to FL last year, so we've decided our first destination is to visit them.
From there, we'll be headed up the East Coast and stopping in on some of our old favorites like Washington, D.C. and Salem, MA. We do still plan to visit NYC as we've never been down into Manhattan before. After the east coast travels, we'll be headed to Niagara Falls. This one is a huge one for me because I loved Niagara Falls as a kid to the point where after we got our passports, Ro said, "Hey, Mom, you're finally taking us to Niagara Falls, which you've been saying you want to do since we came to live with you!"
5 people, 4 cats, 1 EPIC adventure!
2013 is a year to live our dreams.
So, we're at it again. What was originally going to be a 3 week trip that was going to have a few days in NYC, a few days at a conference in NH, and a few days in Niagara Falls has turned into a few weeks exploring as much of the eastern half of the country as possible. Since our conference in NH was canceled (it became too expensive for us) we decided to revel in the freedom of having no schedule for our trip. We've never had one before, so that was going to be new for us anyway. We have friends who moved from Austin to FL last year, so we've decided our first destination is to visit them.
From there, we'll be headed up the East Coast and stopping in on some of our old favorites like Washington, D.C. and Salem, MA. We do still plan to visit NYC as we've never been down into Manhattan before. After the east coast travels, we'll be headed to Niagara Falls. This one is a huge one for me because I loved Niagara Falls as a kid to the point where after we got our passports, Ro said, "Hey, Mom, you're finally taking us to Niagara Falls, which you've been saying you want to do since we came to live with you!"
5 people, 4 cats, 1 EPIC adventure!
2013 is a year to live our dreams.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Who I AM...only the strong need apply
Recent major changes to my relationships have forced me into very serious considerations of myself and my life. I was beginning to contemplate myself, where I'm going, what I'm doing, but this shock forced me to take a cold hard look at me.
Probably the biggest realization I had was over dinner the other night and this one was a slap in the face. I had--for the third time in as many years--gotten myself into a situation where I was working so hard to help someone else grow that I was not growing myself. Now, that's not AT ALL, but my growth was slowed and it was only coming in spurts, because I had so much of my energy and attention focused elsewhere. This is an easy trap for me to fall into, because who I AM is someone who helps others. Helps others to grow, to love, to see the world from a perspective that just feels good.
Let's break this down: Who I AM, who I BE, the path that I'm on, the one that feels yucky to stray from, is to change the world. To-through my love and light-show people there's a different way of living. Life doesn't have to proceed the way you were taught. It doesn't have to go the way society tells you it ought to.
It is perfectly okay to love yourself, your spouse, your children, your friends, your family, and everyone you know in a whole, complete, and unabashed manner.
It is perfectly okay to pursue whatever lights you on fire, no matter how much money you make at it and no matter what society at large thinks of you for pursuing it.
It is perfectly okay to be happy, live your life out loud, do a happy dance when something lights you up, to take joy in the little things just as much as--if not more than--the big things.
And there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing there that needs to change, because that's just WHO I AM.
But. There is something that needs to change.
Because of my perspective, because I live against the societal grain, because I've always thought and seen the world this way, I've become a very strong person. One of the strongest people I know. In fact, for the longest time, I WAS the strongest person I knew, there was no one that came close by a wide margin.
Now? I know two people who are just as strong as I am. One who I'm certain is stronger. Both of these are my partners.
And this is what I've discovered needs to change. The trap I've fallen into multiple times is attempting to have as a partner someone whose strength is much less than my own. When attempting to partner with someone who is not on par with you in any aspect, tensions can arise. We're all adults here so tensions don't have to mean that a relationship is unsustainable.
But for me, the person who is strong and loves to help others; well, I tend to get myself into situations that require a lot of strength. For me, in partnerships, only the strong need apply. It's like the adage, "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."
This girl generates a lot of heat--so folks with fainting spells just don't belong in my kitchen.
That being said, because I am who I am: I will continue to love and assist in the growth of those who can't stand to be in my kitchen. I have many wonderful friends who for one reason or another will never be in my kitchen, but that doesn't mean that I don't love, honor, and respect who they are.
Probably the biggest realization I had was over dinner the other night and this one was a slap in the face. I had--for the third time in as many years--gotten myself into a situation where I was working so hard to help someone else grow that I was not growing myself. Now, that's not AT ALL, but my growth was slowed and it was only coming in spurts, because I had so much of my energy and attention focused elsewhere. This is an easy trap for me to fall into, because who I AM is someone who helps others. Helps others to grow, to love, to see the world from a perspective that just feels good.
Let's break this down: Who I AM, who I BE, the path that I'm on, the one that feels yucky to stray from, is to change the world. To-through my love and light-show people there's a different way of living. Life doesn't have to proceed the way you were taught. It doesn't have to go the way society tells you it ought to.
It is perfectly okay to love yourself, your spouse, your children, your friends, your family, and everyone you know in a whole, complete, and unabashed manner.
It is perfectly okay to pursue whatever lights you on fire, no matter how much money you make at it and no matter what society at large thinks of you for pursuing it.
It is perfectly okay to be happy, live your life out loud, do a happy dance when something lights you up, to take joy in the little things just as much as--if not more than--the big things.
And there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing there that needs to change, because that's just WHO I AM.
But. There is something that needs to change.
Because of my perspective, because I live against the societal grain, because I've always thought and seen the world this way, I've become a very strong person. One of the strongest people I know. In fact, for the longest time, I WAS the strongest person I knew, there was no one that came close by a wide margin.
Now? I know two people who are just as strong as I am. One who I'm certain is stronger. Both of these are my partners.
And this is what I've discovered needs to change. The trap I've fallen into multiple times is attempting to have as a partner someone whose strength is much less than my own. When attempting to partner with someone who is not on par with you in any aspect, tensions can arise. We're all adults here so tensions don't have to mean that a relationship is unsustainable.
But for me, the person who is strong and loves to help others; well, I tend to get myself into situations that require a lot of strength. For me, in partnerships, only the strong need apply. It's like the adage, "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."
This girl generates a lot of heat--so folks with fainting spells just don't belong in my kitchen.
That being said, because I am who I am: I will continue to love and assist in the growth of those who can't stand to be in my kitchen. I have many wonderful friends who for one reason or another will never be in my kitchen, but that doesn't mean that I don't love, honor, and respect who they are.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Go Break It...
The following was written as a response to my 19 year old daughter who expressed on Facebook that she needed to change how she was conducting her life. She was asking for assistance from her family. I woke up, read what she said and wrote the following back to her:
You know you have my support 100% darling. I will not leave you and it is my ardent desire to help you become the best you you can be.
Remember, I want only two things for my children when they grow up: their happiness and their ability to obtain it. There's no magical formula for that, just honest self-evaluation and and then lots of hard work.
Only *you* have the power to get what you want for yourself, everyone else is here to help or hinder you.
Sit down, think out what you really want for your life and then tell us about it. Helpers will find ways to help you, hinderers won't. Minimize your interactions with hinderers. Lather, rinse, repeat.
All life is a game of trial and error. We make mistakes, we learn from them, we get better. We are only failures if we don't learn from our mistakes and get better.
Now I'm going to let you in on two secrets of adulthood: First, no matter who you've been or what you've done, you can *always* choose something new for yourself. You don't ever have to be who you've been.
Second, THERE IS NO END ALL BE ALL TO LIFE.
You may look at me and see how happy I am and think "she's got it all down," but then you know damn well I don't. It was just over a week ago that I cried my eyes out for hours because I made a mistake.
And what did I say about it?
"I broke it and fixed it better than it was before I broke it."
THAT'S LEARNING, THAT'S GROWTH, THAT'S LIFE. THAT is how you achieve happiness.
So please, my love, my darling daughter, go forth and break it, then learn how you broke it and fix it better than it was before.
You know you have my support 100% darling. I will not leave you and it is my ardent desire to help you become the best you you can be.
Remember, I want only two things for my children when they grow up: their happiness and their ability to obtain it. There's no magical formula for that, just honest self-evaluation and and then lots of hard work.
Only *you* have the power to get what you want for yourself, everyone else is here to help or hinder you.
Sit down, think out what you really want for your life and then tell us about it. Helpers will find ways to help you, hinderers won't. Minimize your interactions with hinderers. Lather, rinse, repeat.
All life is a game of trial and error. We make mistakes, we learn from them, we get better. We are only failures if we don't learn from our mistakes and get better.
Now I'm going to let you in on two secrets of adulthood: First, no matter who you've been or what you've done, you can *always* choose something new for yourself. You don't ever have to be who you've been.
Second, THERE IS NO END ALL BE ALL TO LIFE.
You may look at me and see how happy I am and think "she's got it all down," but then you know damn well I don't. It was just over a week ago that I cried my eyes out for hours because I made a mistake.
And what did I say about it?
"I broke it and fixed it better than it was before I broke it."
THAT'S LEARNING, THAT'S GROWTH, THAT'S LIFE. THAT is how you achieve happiness.
So please, my love, my darling daughter, go forth and break it, then learn how you broke it and fix it better than it was before.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
On Receiving Flowers
Everyone knows that women love to receive flowers, except this woman, well, sometimes, maybe...
Perhaps it started in childhood, with my mother not having a good man around, she never got flowers. I know she loved them, though.
I think more likely that it started in my teens. I was living with my father and it was around Valentine's Day, we were commenting on all the flowers that were purchased for the day and he said, "I ought to get you flowers and have them sent to school, so you know I love you." My heart began to swell with the feeling of being loved when he said, "No. Wait. That's your boyfriend's job." "But I don't have a boyfriend, Dad." "That's my point, Andrea, you need to get one."
I had explained to him many times my feelings on dating in high school. I thought the whole enterprise was stupid and pointless. I watched other girls get into relationships, swear they were in love, break up a few months later and be heartbroken, then fall in love again with some other boy. I had heard time and time again that kids were foolish and couldn't possibly fall in love. Recognizing that I was a kid, I decided I would wait until I was an adult and then date.
Fast forward a year or two, I'm now 18 and at society's prescribed adulthood age. So I start dating. I decide (because I'm still a kid) I'm in love with the second guy I date and the issue of flowers comes up one day. We've already combined finances and so I tell him to not ever buy me flowers because I think they're a waste of money...they just die within a few days. A couple days later, he gives me a rose he drew (he knew they were my favorite) as a kind of "Ha! I can still give you flowers!" And that was the end of the subject between he and I.
Fast forward another 13 years and he and I have divorced. I find myself a single adult and in the position to date again. I've realized that I *would* like to receive flowers sometimes as I see them as an expression of love. My dear, sweet daughter buys me flowers for Mother's Day. I thank her and tell her it's not the same, but I very much appreciate it (knock my parenting later). At a random later juncture, she gets me flowers again and I cry and thank her. I then tell her that I wish I had a boy who would do the same.
Fast forward another year or so. I have 3 boyfriends and not a single one has gotten me flowers. I'm not upset at any one of them, but I do sometimes wish they would think to do it.
Now we're up to last night. I'm telling Boyfriend 1 about a stalker I had and how this guy had presented me with a single long-stem rose on our second date and how I'm still irritated that the only guy who's ever gotten me flowers turned out to be a creep. BF1 says, "I'm sorry honey, I don't do flowers." I said, "Eh, whatever I don't need them, it's okay."
So then, as I'm getting ready for bed, I'm mulling this over, "Shit, chick, make up your mind! Which the fuck is it?" And then it dawns on me...I'm staring at my dresser where sits a little Darth Vader that BF1 presented to me on Valentine's Day just before he headed out of town for two weeks. And I swelled with that feeling of being loved and I realized exactly what it is that I want.
Seeing women presented with flowers is seeing them being loved. I don't actually need to receive any thing to feel loved. In fact, I make it quite clear to my men and to my family that I don't like being given things. BUT I do like being thought of. When BF1 brought me the Darth Vader he said it was to keep me company while he was out of town. It's not the thing he gave me, it's that realization that he thought of me and would miss me while he was away. And I realized he has given me flowers. Because he's done for me exactly what flowers mean to me. And then, in thinking on it, all of my boyfriends have given me flowers. Those random little texts in the middle of the day, to tell me they miss me or they're thinking of me...I get flowers ALL THE TIME.
So, to my men and to my family: I love you and thank you for all the flowers you've given me. I realize now that what I wanted so desperately I already had and just had to pull my head outta my ass to see it.
Perhaps it started in childhood, with my mother not having a good man around, she never got flowers. I know she loved them, though.
I think more likely that it started in my teens. I was living with my father and it was around Valentine's Day, we were commenting on all the flowers that were purchased for the day and he said, "I ought to get you flowers and have them sent to school, so you know I love you." My heart began to swell with the feeling of being loved when he said, "No. Wait. That's your boyfriend's job." "But I don't have a boyfriend, Dad." "That's my point, Andrea, you need to get one."
I had explained to him many times my feelings on dating in high school. I thought the whole enterprise was stupid and pointless. I watched other girls get into relationships, swear they were in love, break up a few months later and be heartbroken, then fall in love again with some other boy. I had heard time and time again that kids were foolish and couldn't possibly fall in love. Recognizing that I was a kid, I decided I would wait until I was an adult and then date.
Fast forward a year or two, I'm now 18 and at society's prescribed adulthood age. So I start dating. I decide (because I'm still a kid) I'm in love with the second guy I date and the issue of flowers comes up one day. We've already combined finances and so I tell him to not ever buy me flowers because I think they're a waste of money...they just die within a few days. A couple days later, he gives me a rose he drew (he knew they were my favorite) as a kind of "Ha! I can still give you flowers!" And that was the end of the subject between he and I.
Fast forward another 13 years and he and I have divorced. I find myself a single adult and in the position to date again. I've realized that I *would* like to receive flowers sometimes as I see them as an expression of love. My dear, sweet daughter buys me flowers for Mother's Day. I thank her and tell her it's not the same, but I very much appreciate it (knock my parenting later). At a random later juncture, she gets me flowers again and I cry and thank her. I then tell her that I wish I had a boy who would do the same.
Fast forward another year or so. I have 3 boyfriends and not a single one has gotten me flowers. I'm not upset at any one of them, but I do sometimes wish they would think to do it.
Now we're up to last night. I'm telling Boyfriend 1 about a stalker I had and how this guy had presented me with a single long-stem rose on our second date and how I'm still irritated that the only guy who's ever gotten me flowers turned out to be a creep. BF1 says, "I'm sorry honey, I don't do flowers." I said, "Eh, whatever I don't need them, it's okay."
So then, as I'm getting ready for bed, I'm mulling this over, "Shit, chick, make up your mind! Which the fuck is it?" And then it dawns on me...I'm staring at my dresser where sits a little Darth Vader that BF1 presented to me on Valentine's Day just before he headed out of town for two weeks. And I swelled with that feeling of being loved and I realized exactly what it is that I want.
Seeing women presented with flowers is seeing them being loved. I don't actually need to receive any thing to feel loved. In fact, I make it quite clear to my men and to my family that I don't like being given things. BUT I do like being thought of. When BF1 brought me the Darth Vader he said it was to keep me company while he was out of town. It's not the thing he gave me, it's that realization that he thought of me and would miss me while he was away. And I realized he has given me flowers. Because he's done for me exactly what flowers mean to me. And then, in thinking on it, all of my boyfriends have given me flowers. Those random little texts in the middle of the day, to tell me they miss me or they're thinking of me...I get flowers ALL THE TIME.
So, to my men and to my family: I love you and thank you for all the flowers you've given me. I realize now that what I wanted so desperately I already had and just had to pull my head outta my ass to see it.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
To have more...
What if we all quit taking more than we really need?
I saw the movie "The Book of Eli" with Denzel Washington this year. If you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it. Without giving spoilers, I will say that the movie is set in a post-apocalyptic future. In one scene, someone asks Denzel Washington, "What was it like before?" His response (not verbatim) is, "Before? Well, people had more than they needed. They threw away things that people would kill for now."
Is that not the perfect description of how we, at least in developed countries, live? We take more than we need and throw away things that others literally die without. So many of us, no matter where we fall on the political spectrum, can see that our behavior is not good for the earth. Whether or not we believe in Global Warming, whether or not we believe Global Warming is man made, we know that our actions at present are unsustainable. We know that at some point in the future our trajectory will lead to certain doom.
Take a look around your house, just what you can see from where you sit. How much do you see that you rarely (if ever) use? Why do you have it? I mean sure, maybe you use x item every Christmas or y item every time there's snow in July. Wouldn't it be more sustainable to just borrow x and y when you need them? I mean, how revolutionary would it be to borrow/rent Holiday decorations rather than buying them, paying for the storage containers to hold them year round, then on top of that, paying for extra square footage in your dwelling to store those?
Look at all the gadgets and dishes in your kitchen. Do you use all of them on a daily (or even weekly or monthly) basis? Why do you have them? Have you ever used them? Could you live without them? Is it possible to keep only what you use regularly and borrow from someone else on the other occasions? Take stock of all of the goods in your house. How much lingers in every room, every closet, every nook and cranny that you don't use?
Now don't misinterpret me. I am not in any way suggesting that any of us live without what we truly need (food, clothes, shelter), nor am I even suggesting that we live without what we want. My family each owns their own laptop. We don't need them, but to get along in today's society, it is extremely handy for us each to have one. What would be wasteful of us is to replace them any more frequently than when they are no longer serviceable. Do you remember the days when people drove cars until they could no longer be driven?
Even in clothing we each have more than we need. I had a small child visiting in my home today. During a conversation about people conquering people since the dawn of man, she asked why people could do that when, "It's so mean!" I said, "Because people tend to feel like they never have enough. They conquer other groups in order to take more." This led us down a path of, "How much does a person really need?" Another child suggested that all we really need is two sets of clothes: one set to wear while we wash the other set.
She made an excellent point. Even my minimalist family has eight sets of clothes each: One for each day of the week and one to wear on wash day. I'm comfortable with the amount of clothes my family presently has and don't see the need to step it down another level. But what else could we reduce?
The biggest question here is, "What would the world look like if, right now, everyone decided to stop taking more than they need?"
I saw the movie "The Book of Eli" with Denzel Washington this year. If you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it. Without giving spoilers, I will say that the movie is set in a post-apocalyptic future. In one scene, someone asks Denzel Washington, "What was it like before?" His response (not verbatim) is, "Before? Well, people had more than they needed. They threw away things that people would kill for now."
Is that not the perfect description of how we, at least in developed countries, live? We take more than we need and throw away things that others literally die without. So many of us, no matter where we fall on the political spectrum, can see that our behavior is not good for the earth. Whether or not we believe in Global Warming, whether or not we believe Global Warming is man made, we know that our actions at present are unsustainable. We know that at some point in the future our trajectory will lead to certain doom.
Take a look around your house, just what you can see from where you sit. How much do you see that you rarely (if ever) use? Why do you have it? I mean sure, maybe you use x item every Christmas or y item every time there's snow in July. Wouldn't it be more sustainable to just borrow x and y when you need them? I mean, how revolutionary would it be to borrow/rent Holiday decorations rather than buying them, paying for the storage containers to hold them year round, then on top of that, paying for extra square footage in your dwelling to store those?
Look at all the gadgets and dishes in your kitchen. Do you use all of them on a daily (or even weekly or monthly) basis? Why do you have them? Have you ever used them? Could you live without them? Is it possible to keep only what you use regularly and borrow from someone else on the other occasions? Take stock of all of the goods in your house. How much lingers in every room, every closet, every nook and cranny that you don't use?
Now don't misinterpret me. I am not in any way suggesting that any of us live without what we truly need (food, clothes, shelter), nor am I even suggesting that we live without what we want. My family each owns their own laptop. We don't need them, but to get along in today's society, it is extremely handy for us each to have one. What would be wasteful of us is to replace them any more frequently than when they are no longer serviceable. Do you remember the days when people drove cars until they could no longer be driven?
Even in clothing we each have more than we need. I had a small child visiting in my home today. During a conversation about people conquering people since the dawn of man, she asked why people could do that when, "It's so mean!" I said, "Because people tend to feel like they never have enough. They conquer other groups in order to take more." This led us down a path of, "How much does a person really need?" Another child suggested that all we really need is two sets of clothes: one set to wear while we wash the other set.
She made an excellent point. Even my minimalist family has eight sets of clothes each: One for each day of the week and one to wear on wash day. I'm comfortable with the amount of clothes my family presently has and don't see the need to step it down another level. But what else could we reduce?
The biggest question here is, "What would the world look like if, right now, everyone decided to stop taking more than they need?"
Monday, March 8, 2010
On the road again...
Woohoo! The Dharma family has hit the road...
We left on March 8th and headed for Sarasota, Florida. It took us a couple days to get to Florida and we apparently brought the Texas rain storms with us. Some where around Tallahassee we discovered that one of our vents has a leaky seal, but that's okay, it only leaks in if we're not level. We'll get it replaced soon, but we're parked for now somewhere level, so we're not worried at the moment.
We came pretty directly to Sarasota to visit with an awesome unschooling family who lives in the area. We're waiting to visit Disney World until after Spring Break, so sometime the second week of April or so.
If you're somewhere in the U.S. and would like a visit from us sometime over the next year, drop us a line and let us know! After Florida, we'll be headed to North Carolina, and other points North.
We left on March 8th and headed for Sarasota, Florida. It took us a couple days to get to Florida and we apparently brought the Texas rain storms with us. Some where around Tallahassee we discovered that one of our vents has a leaky seal, but that's okay, it only leaks in if we're not level. We'll get it replaced soon, but we're parked for now somewhere level, so we're not worried at the moment.
We came pretty directly to Sarasota to visit with an awesome unschooling family who lives in the area. We're waiting to visit Disney World until after Spring Break, so sometime the second week of April or so.
If you're somewhere in the U.S. and would like a visit from us sometime over the next year, drop us a line and let us know! After Florida, we'll be headed to North Carolina, and other points North.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Where in the world is the Dharma Family?!
So often from people we have known for some time we hear, "Gosh, I thought you guys would have been halfway across the country by now." Well, we have been halfway across the country, several times over the last few years. In 2007, we went to TN, MI, PA, MA, NH, DC, and back home again. In 2008, we expanded a similar trip and visited OK, MN, MI, PA, NH, VT, NY, NC, and back home again. In 2009, we drove the other direction and went to NM, AZ, NV, CA, OR, WY, UT, CO, OK, and back home again (only home was in San Antonio, TX instead of Austin, TX).
Where has 2010 taken us? So far, it's taken us to CA, NV, AZ, NM, and home came with us after CA where we picked up an even better RV than we had in January. So where is home now? Home is in Austin, TX of all places! We know, you'd think with an RV in our possession we'd be halfway across the country by now. Nope. That's okay, we're taking time to spend with loved ones here in TX, so many friends we made over the 5 years we lived in Austin, it's hard to say goodbye.
March will have us moving house (literally, this time) and you can check back here to find out where in the world the Dharma Family has gone...
Where has 2010 taken us? So far, it's taken us to CA, NV, AZ, NM, and home came with us after CA where we picked up an even better RV than we had in January. So where is home now? Home is in Austin, TX of all places! We know, you'd think with an RV in our possession we'd be halfway across the country by now. Nope. That's okay, we're taking time to spend with loved ones here in TX, so many friends we made over the 5 years we lived in Austin, it's hard to say goodbye.
March will have us moving house (literally, this time) and you can check back here to find out where in the world the Dharma Family has gone...
Sunday, December 20, 2009
From dream to reality...
For those who aren't aware, for as long as I can remember I've wanted to travel the world. I recall a specific conversation with my brother when I was 12 (my brother was 17 and going off to college soon) that went something like this:
B-"So Andrea, where do you think you want to go to college?"
Me-"I'm only 12! I'm too young to think about that."
B-"Actually 12 is the age you should start thinking about it, I wish I had started planning before I got to high school, it would have made it so much easier."
Me-"Well, I don't know, I don't think I want to go straight to college after high school. I don't really like school that much and I'd like some time off so I don't burnout, you see that all the time, you know."
B-"That's silly, what will you do instead, work at McDonald's?"
Me-"No, I'll travel around the world, go see all the places I've never been."
B-"And with what money? Mom's not rich you know. Only rich kids get to do stuff like that."
Me-"Well I won't need much money, I'll just buy an RV and travel around the U.S. and then take it to Europe and travel there and Asia, then to Australia, then fly to Hawaii and see it, then maybe I'll go to college."
B-"You can't take an RV to Europe, you have to fly and it's too expensive to ship cars."
Me-"Well then, I'll sell my RV before I leave the U.S. and buy a new one in Europe. I probably won't need one for Australia, I'll just go to Sydney and look around by car."
B-"You still haven't told me where you're going to get the thousands of dollars it'll take to do all that."
Me-"I'll work while I travel, each place I go, I'll stay for a little while, long enough to really explore the area and then move on."
B-"Hmph, that's not practical, you're just dreaming."
And so I was. And I kept dreaming this dream for a long time, when I got married, I included my husband and then the kids. And for a long time I didn't think it was practical or possible. Then I started hearing about people doing it and I met a family who were just settling down in Austin, TX after having traveled for 5 years. They called themselves the Barenaked Family.
Not only did this family inspire me to live my dream, but they inspired me to cherish my children. Not to say I didn't cherish my children before, but it was an entirely different experience to look at my children and not see them as an inconvenience or people who needed to be controlled, but as individuals with their own dreams, hopes, desires, and fears.
From there, the rest was downhill. I started seeking out information and methods for self-improvement that would be in line with my values. I participated in some courses from Landmark Education that enabled me to truly let go of the past and live in the present.
Through that, I find myself with RV in hand; definite, solid plans for income to make the RV livable and then a rough idea of how to make a go of it. While you may think that "rough idea" means we're not ready, quite the opposite...I like rough ideas. I am ever-changing and adaptable. Fortunately my husband and children trust me enough to know that whatever happens, whatever I choose, their needs and wishes will be respected.
We plan to hit the road in the new year, January, to be precise.
B-"So Andrea, where do you think you want to go to college?"
Me-"I'm only 12! I'm too young to think about that."
B-"Actually 12 is the age you should start thinking about it, I wish I had started planning before I got to high school, it would have made it so much easier."
Me-"Well, I don't know, I don't think I want to go straight to college after high school. I don't really like school that much and I'd like some time off so I don't burnout, you see that all the time, you know."
B-"That's silly, what will you do instead, work at McDonald's?"
Me-"No, I'll travel around the world, go see all the places I've never been."
B-"And with what money? Mom's not rich you know. Only rich kids get to do stuff like that."
Me-"Well I won't need much money, I'll just buy an RV and travel around the U.S. and then take it to Europe and travel there and Asia, then to Australia, then fly to Hawaii and see it, then maybe I'll go to college."
B-"You can't take an RV to Europe, you have to fly and it's too expensive to ship cars."
Me-"Well then, I'll sell my RV before I leave the U.S. and buy a new one in Europe. I probably won't need one for Australia, I'll just go to Sydney and look around by car."
B-"You still haven't told me where you're going to get the thousands of dollars it'll take to do all that."
Me-"I'll work while I travel, each place I go, I'll stay for a little while, long enough to really explore the area and then move on."
B-"Hmph, that's not practical, you're just dreaming."
And so I was. And I kept dreaming this dream for a long time, when I got married, I included my husband and then the kids. And for a long time I didn't think it was practical or possible. Then I started hearing about people doing it and I met a family who were just settling down in Austin, TX after having traveled for 5 years. They called themselves the Barenaked Family.
Not only did this family inspire me to live my dream, but they inspired me to cherish my children. Not to say I didn't cherish my children before, but it was an entirely different experience to look at my children and not see them as an inconvenience or people who needed to be controlled, but as individuals with their own dreams, hopes, desires, and fears.
From there, the rest was downhill. I started seeking out information and methods for self-improvement that would be in line with my values. I participated in some courses from Landmark Education that enabled me to truly let go of the past and live in the present.
Through that, I find myself with RV in hand; definite, solid plans for income to make the RV livable and then a rough idea of how to make a go of it. While you may think that "rough idea" means we're not ready, quite the opposite...I like rough ideas. I am ever-changing and adaptable. Fortunately my husband and children trust me enough to know that whatever happens, whatever I choose, their needs and wishes will be respected.
We plan to hit the road in the new year, January, to be precise.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
And so life goes on...
So as is obvious, we've just been so busy with living life, we haven't had time to blog.
Since the last blog in August, Aurora and Karma have turned 16 and 15 respectively. Aurora ended up staying with her boyfriend's family in PA for nearly 2 months (just 5 days shy of) and she had a great time but also discovered she doesn't like being away from her family for so long.
Shane has decided the military is best for him, but not the American one. On December 15, he's flying to France to join the French Foreign Legion. He's been staying with his grandma near Amarillo since September, so the rest of us will be driving up there to visit with him and drive him to Dallas for his flight. Keep him in your thoughts for a successful journey!
Oh yes, we scaled down into our smaller place, which promptly flooded and there was mold growing everywhere and the conditions were generally unsafe, so we moved in with Andrea's mom for the time being. Rather than getting another place, we're working to just get an RV and hit the road together.
Aurora and Karma put in a lot of applications at various establishments in the local mall, only Karma has so far gotten a job, though. She works for a cheese steak place and she loves her job.
Andrea is wrapping up her final semester at the local college and will start at University (online) in January. She has decided that pursuing a Bachelor's degree will increase her chances of finding work for pay after we head to Europe, so that's what she's doing. Also, she just loves to learn. :)
Caed is working on teaching himself programming and plans to buy himself a C++ programming book after Christmas. For those who aren't aware, instead of buying each other potentially useless presents for Christmas, we distribute family money to each individual who is then able to spend it in whichever manner pleases them the most. This keeps our consumerism down and helps to ensure that we're not acquiring unnecessary goods.
That's about it folks, we'll keep you posted!!
Since the last blog in August, Aurora and Karma have turned 16 and 15 respectively. Aurora ended up staying with her boyfriend's family in PA for nearly 2 months (just 5 days shy of) and she had a great time but also discovered she doesn't like being away from her family for so long.
Shane has decided the military is best for him, but not the American one. On December 15, he's flying to France to join the French Foreign Legion. He's been staying with his grandma near Amarillo since September, so the rest of us will be driving up there to visit with him and drive him to Dallas for his flight. Keep him in your thoughts for a successful journey!
Oh yes, we scaled down into our smaller place, which promptly flooded and there was mold growing everywhere and the conditions were generally unsafe, so we moved in with Andrea's mom for the time being. Rather than getting another place, we're working to just get an RV and hit the road together.
Aurora and Karma put in a lot of applications at various establishments in the local mall, only Karma has so far gotten a job, though. She works for a cheese steak place and she loves her job.
Andrea is wrapping up her final semester at the local college and will start at University (online) in January. She has decided that pursuing a Bachelor's degree will increase her chances of finding work for pay after we head to Europe, so that's what she's doing. Also, she just loves to learn. :)
Caed is working on teaching himself programming and plans to buy himself a C++ programming book after Christmas. For those who aren't aware, instead of buying each other potentially useless presents for Christmas, we distribute family money to each individual who is then able to spend it in whichever manner pleases them the most. This keeps our consumerism down and helps to ensure that we're not acquiring unnecessary goods.
That's about it folks, we'll keep you posted!!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
You know you're having fun when...
So we finally finished the post today regarding our vacation. If you notice that the posts got less descriptive, that's because we've been back for a month now, we originally started typing the day we got home. So for those of you near the end of the vacation, no we didn't have less fun with you, it's just been longer. We're not even sure we got some events on the correct days, but oh well, you've got the picture.
So you know we're having fun when we don't finish a post for over a month. We've just been living our lives as it works for us.
Andrea's been continuing college, got C's for the two classes she took while on vacation and A's for the two classes she finished last week. Sam's been keeping up the house in Andrea's extreme absence and distraction. Shane has found a good job, met a nice girl and is moving out tomorrow. Aurora has a "boyfriend" though they're not declared yet, but she is going up to Pennsylvania to see him next month. Karma continues her work, both at her art and in her housecleaning business. Caed is 13 today and is growing like a weed. He sits between Andrea and Aurora in height at the moment, we anticipate that he may someday be the tallest person in the house.
We'll be scaling down to a smaller house soon in preparation for even smaller living quarters. We're having a huge yard sale over Labor Day weekend, so if you live near Converse, Texas, come buy some of our stuff!!
So you know we're having fun when we don't finish a post for over a month. We've just been living our lives as it works for us.
Andrea's been continuing college, got C's for the two classes she took while on vacation and A's for the two classes she finished last week. Sam's been keeping up the house in Andrea's extreme absence and distraction. Shane has found a good job, met a nice girl and is moving out tomorrow. Aurora has a "boyfriend" though they're not declared yet, but she is going up to Pennsylvania to see him next month. Karma continues her work, both at her art and in her housecleaning business. Caed is 13 today and is growing like a weed. He sits between Andrea and Aurora in height at the moment, we anticipate that he may someday be the tallest person in the house.
We'll be scaling down to a smaller house soon in preparation for even smaller living quarters. We're having a huge yard sale over Labor Day weekend, so if you live near Converse, Texas, come buy some of our stuff!!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Back from Vacation!
To the best of our mutual recollections, we will give you a highlights rundown:
Day 1 Wednesday June 17th
As we were packing to leave, we got the call that informed us our beloved kitty of 8 years, Cyrano had passed away. Our departure was delayed by picking him up from where he was being cat sat and taking him to the vet for cremation.
We departed close to noon and arrived to Sam's mom's house around 10pm. We had some dinner, some conversation and went to sleep.
Day 2 Thursday
We slept in until about 10am and then spent most of the day visiting with Grandma. We departed Amarillo at about 6pm and drove to New Mexico. We found a state park in New Mexico and everyone went to swim in the lake.
Day 3 Friday June 19th
We spent most of Friday driving from New Mexico to Arizona. We stopped in Winslow, AZ at a Wal-Mart and went down to the corner to stand and see if we could see any girls in flat-bed Fords slowing down to take a look at us, ala the Eagles.
We arrived to a campground in Flagstaff after dark where we parked for the night to sleep.
Day 4 Saturday June 20th
After waking up in Flagstaff, we drove up to the Grand Canyon as Andrea was the only one who had ever been before. We spent most of the day at the Grand Canyon. In the evening, we drove down to Route 66 and went to a restaurant in Williams, AZ called the Pine Country Restaurant...it was tasty!!
From there, we drove up through the Hoover Dam, arriving well after nightfall. Despite the darkness, we recognized several scenes from the first Transformer movie. We arrived to the Valley of Fire State Park in NV just after 1 am.
Day 5 Sunday June 21st
The sun in the Valley of Fire woke us up at about 6 am. We tried fruitlessly to sleep until 7am when it was so boiling hot in the tent and the van that we just had to escape.
Since it was Father's Day, we decided to surprise Dad by taking him down to Vegas to gamble. Dropped the kids off at the mall with money and then had lunch. Dad revealed he didn't like gambling. Eh. We roamed around the MGM hotel instead.
Day 6 Monday June 22nd
Sun woke us up early again. Kids roamed around the rocks for a few hours and then we went down to Vegas to explore the strip some more. We rode the inclinators in the Pyramid hotel (snuck in!), and wandered about the town until we were exhausted.
Day 7 Tuesday June 23rd
We managed to sleep in until 6:30 am. Today, the kids goofed off for hours, Shane and Aurora made a bid to climb the highest peak in our campground. They didn't quite make it. Eventually, we checked out of the campgrounds and wandered down to Vegas to get the oil changed on the van. We were waiting until after dark to drive through Death Valley. Finally, we went down to Circus Circus so the kids could check out the casino with the amusement park. The girls rode a coaster, we were amused. :)
Day 8 Wednesday June 24th
We arrived at Malibu State Park in L.A. around 6 am. We slept in the van outside the gate until they opened at 8am. When the rangers got in, we checked in and found our campsite. We got set up and ran to the nearest little town to do laundry. When we got home, we found some "hippies" setting up camp next to us. We went over, introduced ourselves and went back to our own camp around 3 am, after the rangers broke up the party. :D
Day 9 Thursday June 25th
We went down to explore Wilshire Blvd, etc. We ended up getting pretty lost and drove Mulholland Freeway. We sang alot of Tom Petty.
Day 10 Friday June 26th
Caed went to his first day of the Forum and the rest of us hung around camp and then went to a Barnes & Noble so Andrea could take a test for her online classes. We picked up Caed and went for a dip in the ocean.
Day 11 Saturday June 27th
On our last night in Malibu, we spent the evening at camp, met some ladies from Venezuela and Karma gave them a tarot reading.
Day 12 Sunday June 28th
Caed finished up his Forum and then we headed up to Sacramento to see the kids' mother, Faith. Due to horrendous L.A. traffic, we didn't get up there until 1am.
Day 13 Monday June 29th
Spent the day hanging out with Faith and her boyfriend, Doug. Went to therapy with Faith, discussed the adoption, got everything settled.
Day 14 Tuesday June 30th
Just hung out with Faith and Doug at their place.
Day 15 Wednesday July 1st
Began a caravan with Doug and Faith and Doug's daughter, Kira to Oregon. We stopped alot and had 9 people to feed, so as a consequence, we didn't arrive to Faith's Dad's place until about 1 am.
Day 16 Thursday July 2nd
Got up and explored Gary's land on Larch Mountain, beautiful area! Shane, Karma, and Caed stayed on the mountain to hang out with family; Sam, Andrea, and Aurora went down to Tualatin to visit with Andrea's cousin, Gabby.
Day 17 Friday July 3rd
Sam, Andrea, and Aurora spent through lunch with Gabby and her family, then headed back up the mountain for the weekend. Went up and spent some time talking with Faith's family, good time camping.
Day 18 Saturday July 4th
Continued camping, Aurora went for an ATV ride with Shane, went to fast and was thrown off, only to get run over by the ATV. Trip to the ER! Fortunately, she was not broken, just deeply bruised, days of crutches ordered by doctor.
Went out to fireworks after ER (Aurora was piggybacking with Andrea for the most part), fireworks show was rather lame, all resolved to not attend again. On the walk back to the car, Andrea found a $20 in the road. :)
Day 19 Sunday July 5th
Doug and Faith needed to head home, so they bid goodbye early in the morning. We remained with her Dad, Gary, visiting. Andrea's Dad and step-mom came over and spent some time with the family. Good times.
Day 20 Monday July 6th
Headed down to Portland to stay with Faith's sister, Heidi and her family. Hung out in the basement and upstairs, visited lots.
Day 21 Tuesday July 7th
Went back to Tualatin to visit with Gabby again and see another of Andrea's cousins, Rachel and her two girls. Played at the park with them for a few hours before heading out to dinner at a Mongolian Grill. It was our first time at one, what an interesting experience! Decent food, too.
Day 22 Wednesday July 8th
Spent the entire day with Heidi and family. Stayed up wayy too late for driving home.
Day 23 Thursday July 9th
Woke up fairly early and hit the road for the long haul home. Decided to drive straight through with passengers napping for a turn at driving.
Day 24 Friday July 10th
The days were really all bleeding together for the last week or so, we just built up sleep deprivation over the course of the vacation. We drove home through eastern Oregon, Idaho, Wyoming, Utah, Colorado, Oklahoma, and Texas. We saw a really awesome thunder/lightning storm in Colorado after we passed Denver, it was like surround sound only with an entire storm, it had a huge eye!
Day 25 Saturday July 11th
Arrived to Sam's mom's house at about 6 am and decided to crash for awhile. Adults slept until about 1pm. Spent some time visiting while showering and then hit the road for the final leg home.
Day 26 Sunday July 12th
Arrived home about 3am. We were relieved to be home to sleep in our own beds! We remembered we didn't have a Cyrano to greet us at the door or sleep in bed with us. We still miss him.
Can't wait til we have an RV and can sleep comfortably while visiting! The Nevada sun will probably still wake us up wayy too early, but we bet we could sleep past 7am in an RV. :)
Day 1 Wednesday June 17th
As we were packing to leave, we got the call that informed us our beloved kitty of 8 years, Cyrano had passed away. Our departure was delayed by picking him up from where he was being cat sat and taking him to the vet for cremation.
We departed close to noon and arrived to Sam's mom's house around 10pm. We had some dinner, some conversation and went to sleep.
Day 2 Thursday
We slept in until about 10am and then spent most of the day visiting with Grandma. We departed Amarillo at about 6pm and drove to New Mexico. We found a state park in New Mexico and everyone went to swim in the lake.
Day 3 Friday June 19th
We spent most of Friday driving from New Mexico to Arizona. We stopped in Winslow, AZ at a Wal-Mart and went down to the corner to stand and see if we could see any girls in flat-bed Fords slowing down to take a look at us, ala the Eagles.
We arrived to a campground in Flagstaff after dark where we parked for the night to sleep.
Day 4 Saturday June 20th
After waking up in Flagstaff, we drove up to the Grand Canyon as Andrea was the only one who had ever been before. We spent most of the day at the Grand Canyon. In the evening, we drove down to Route 66 and went to a restaurant in Williams, AZ called the Pine Country Restaurant...it was tasty!!
From there, we drove up through the Hoover Dam, arriving well after nightfall. Despite the darkness, we recognized several scenes from the first Transformer movie. We arrived to the Valley of Fire State Park in NV just after 1 am.
Day 5 Sunday June 21st
The sun in the Valley of Fire woke us up at about 6 am. We tried fruitlessly to sleep until 7am when it was so boiling hot in the tent and the van that we just had to escape.
Since it was Father's Day, we decided to surprise Dad by taking him down to Vegas to gamble. Dropped the kids off at the mall with money and then had lunch. Dad revealed he didn't like gambling. Eh. We roamed around the MGM hotel instead.
Day 6 Monday June 22nd
Sun woke us up early again. Kids roamed around the rocks for a few hours and then we went down to Vegas to explore the strip some more. We rode the inclinators in the Pyramid hotel (snuck in!), and wandered about the town until we were exhausted.
Day 7 Tuesday June 23rd
We managed to sleep in until 6:30 am. Today, the kids goofed off for hours, Shane and Aurora made a bid to climb the highest peak in our campground. They didn't quite make it. Eventually, we checked out of the campgrounds and wandered down to Vegas to get the oil changed on the van. We were waiting until after dark to drive through Death Valley. Finally, we went down to Circus Circus so the kids could check out the casino with the amusement park. The girls rode a coaster, we were amused. :)
Day 8 Wednesday June 24th
We arrived at Malibu State Park in L.A. around 6 am. We slept in the van outside the gate until they opened at 8am. When the rangers got in, we checked in and found our campsite. We got set up and ran to the nearest little town to do laundry. When we got home, we found some "hippies" setting up camp next to us. We went over, introduced ourselves and went back to our own camp around 3 am, after the rangers broke up the party. :D
Day 9 Thursday June 25th
We went down to explore Wilshire Blvd, etc. We ended up getting pretty lost and drove Mulholland Freeway. We sang alot of Tom Petty.
Day 10 Friday June 26th
Caed went to his first day of the Forum and the rest of us hung around camp and then went to a Barnes & Noble so Andrea could take a test for her online classes. We picked up Caed and went for a dip in the ocean.
Day 11 Saturday June 27th
On our last night in Malibu, we spent the evening at camp, met some ladies from Venezuela and Karma gave them a tarot reading.
Day 12 Sunday June 28th
Caed finished up his Forum and then we headed up to Sacramento to see the kids' mother, Faith. Due to horrendous L.A. traffic, we didn't get up there until 1am.
Day 13 Monday June 29th
Spent the day hanging out with Faith and her boyfriend, Doug. Went to therapy with Faith, discussed the adoption, got everything settled.
Day 14 Tuesday June 30th
Just hung out with Faith and Doug at their place.
Day 15 Wednesday July 1st
Began a caravan with Doug and Faith and Doug's daughter, Kira to Oregon. We stopped alot and had 9 people to feed, so as a consequence, we didn't arrive to Faith's Dad's place until about 1 am.
Day 16 Thursday July 2nd
Got up and explored Gary's land on Larch Mountain, beautiful area! Shane, Karma, and Caed stayed on the mountain to hang out with family; Sam, Andrea, and Aurora went down to Tualatin to visit with Andrea's cousin, Gabby.
Day 17 Friday July 3rd
Sam, Andrea, and Aurora spent through lunch with Gabby and her family, then headed back up the mountain for the weekend. Went up and spent some time talking with Faith's family, good time camping.
Day 18 Saturday July 4th
Continued camping, Aurora went for an ATV ride with Shane, went to fast and was thrown off, only to get run over by the ATV. Trip to the ER! Fortunately, she was not broken, just deeply bruised, days of crutches ordered by doctor.
Went out to fireworks after ER (Aurora was piggybacking with Andrea for the most part), fireworks show was rather lame, all resolved to not attend again. On the walk back to the car, Andrea found a $20 in the road. :)
Day 19 Sunday July 5th
Doug and Faith needed to head home, so they bid goodbye early in the morning. We remained with her Dad, Gary, visiting. Andrea's Dad and step-mom came over and spent some time with the family. Good times.
Day 20 Monday July 6th
Headed down to Portland to stay with Faith's sister, Heidi and her family. Hung out in the basement and upstairs, visited lots.
Day 21 Tuesday July 7th
Went back to Tualatin to visit with Gabby again and see another of Andrea's cousins, Rachel and her two girls. Played at the park with them for a few hours before heading out to dinner at a Mongolian Grill. It was our first time at one, what an interesting experience! Decent food, too.
Day 22 Wednesday July 8th
Spent the entire day with Heidi and family. Stayed up wayy too late for driving home.
Day 23 Thursday July 9th
Woke up fairly early and hit the road for the long haul home. Decided to drive straight through with passengers napping for a turn at driving.
Day 24 Friday July 10th
The days were really all bleeding together for the last week or so, we just built up sleep deprivation over the course of the vacation. We drove home through eastern Oregon, Idaho, Wyoming, Utah, Colorado, Oklahoma, and Texas. We saw a really awesome thunder/lightning storm in Colorado after we passed Denver, it was like surround sound only with an entire storm, it had a huge eye!
Day 25 Saturday July 11th
Arrived to Sam's mom's house at about 6 am and decided to crash for awhile. Adults slept until about 1pm. Spent some time visiting while showering and then hit the road for the final leg home.
Day 26 Sunday July 12th
Arrived home about 3am. We were relieved to be home to sleep in our own beds! We remembered we didn't have a Cyrano to greet us at the door or sleep in bed with us. We still miss him.
Can't wait til we have an RV and can sleep comfortably while visiting! The Nevada sun will probably still wake us up wayy too early, but we bet we could sleep past 7am in an RV. :)
Sunday, June 7, 2009
So long, so long...
It happens. Life happens and the blog doesn't get updated despite many promises that it will. Well, here we are, updating you on our life.
Since our last posting in January, we have mostly lived our lives as stated then. Andrea continues her part-time job with the young boy and his older, disabled brother. She also continues to attend school, she received an A in Macroeconomics and a B in English Comp II. She will be taking the first of two required Government and History courses (each requires two) over the first summer semester. Classes start tomorrow, but she's already completing class orientations and reading textbooks.
Shane's position with the tax company ended on tax day and he has since attempted to be hired by the grocery store, to no avail. He is now pursuing a career in the U.S. Armed Forces. His biggest hurdle at the moment is acquiring the necessary skills for the ASVAB, because he is homeschooling, he needs a higher score than most individuals and he continues to dance out of range on the practice. No worries there, Andrea bought him a practice book and they are working through it to increase his score.
Aurora was briefly employed as a child care giver, but the parents were military and were transferred. She now scrapes a small living in the employ of her parents, taking care of the new dog we got. :)
Karma continues her house cleaning jobs, though she earns less than she was (less work, which works for her) and maintains her relationship with her boyfriend in N.C.
Caed continues to be Caed, he has assumed all of his older brother's household responsibilities and with that he receives his older brother's allowance. It's not much money, but for him it's more than adequate, so he remains satisfied financially.
As a family, we have finally begun the legal process for Andrea to adopt the younger three children (legally, Shane is a separate entity). The ball is in their mother's court right now as she has the paperwork to sign to agree to the adoption.
We're planning another family vacation, leaving around the 17th of June and returning no later than the 12th of July. We'll be visiting the western half of the U.S. this time with planned stops at the Grand Canyon, Vegas, L.A, Sacramento, and with family in Oregon.
We'll work to keep you updated this trip, but with Andrea doing most of the updating and also going to school full-time while on vacation...we'll see what gets done.
Since our last posting in January, we have mostly lived our lives as stated then. Andrea continues her part-time job with the young boy and his older, disabled brother. She also continues to attend school, she received an A in Macroeconomics and a B in English Comp II. She will be taking the first of two required Government and History courses (each requires two) over the first summer semester. Classes start tomorrow, but she's already completing class orientations and reading textbooks.
Shane's position with the tax company ended on tax day and he has since attempted to be hired by the grocery store, to no avail. He is now pursuing a career in the U.S. Armed Forces. His biggest hurdle at the moment is acquiring the necessary skills for the ASVAB, because he is homeschooling, he needs a higher score than most individuals and he continues to dance out of range on the practice. No worries there, Andrea bought him a practice book and they are working through it to increase his score.
Aurora was briefly employed as a child care giver, but the parents were military and were transferred. She now scrapes a small living in the employ of her parents, taking care of the new dog we got. :)
Karma continues her house cleaning jobs, though she earns less than she was (less work, which works for her) and maintains her relationship with her boyfriend in N.C.
Caed continues to be Caed, he has assumed all of his older brother's household responsibilities and with that he receives his older brother's allowance. It's not much money, but for him it's more than adequate, so he remains satisfied financially.
As a family, we have finally begun the legal process for Andrea to adopt the younger three children (legally, Shane is a separate entity). The ball is in their mother's court right now as she has the paperwork to sign to agree to the adoption.
We're planning another family vacation, leaving around the 17th of June and returning no later than the 12th of July. We'll be visiting the western half of the U.S. this time with planned stops at the Grand Canyon, Vegas, L.A, Sacramento, and with family in Oregon.
We'll work to keep you updated this trip, but with Andrea doing most of the updating and also going to school full-time while on vacation...we'll see what gets done.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Education for all...
We are now an entirely unschooling family once again. Aurora and Caed, of their own desire, will be working on curriculums to give themselves mode to progress. We do see this as quite helpful for Aurora as she is very specific about going to college and doing so soon, but has seemed unable to progress herself in math and english to a point that will be considered acceptable by a community college.
Andrea is returning to college life, she is registered into two classes for the Spring Flex (short) semester. She will be taking English 1302 (2nd required English) and Principles of Macroeconomics. She is especially excited about the economics class as the class covers the current U.S. economy and discussing this in college sounds like mucho fun to her!
Sam also plans to begin school again, but he is having a paperwork hang-up that may take months to resolve. :(
Shane continues his job working for the tax company and Karma has begun work housecleaning, generally making $100 per week, which suits her spending needs more than adequately. Andrea has begun part-time work tutoring one child and helping with general care for his older, mentally handicapped brother. All in all, everyone is satisfied with the ways in which they are earning money and the amount of money which they are earning.
That's about it for updates!
Andrea is returning to college life, she is registered into two classes for the Spring Flex (short) semester. She will be taking English 1302 (2nd required English) and Principles of Macroeconomics. She is especially excited about the economics class as the class covers the current U.S. economy and discussing this in college sounds like mucho fun to her!
Sam also plans to begin school again, but he is having a paperwork hang-up that may take months to resolve. :(
Shane continues his job working for the tax company and Karma has begun work housecleaning, generally making $100 per week, which suits her spending needs more than adequately. Andrea has begun part-time work tutoring one child and helping with general care for his older, mentally handicapped brother. All in all, everyone is satisfied with the ways in which they are earning money and the amount of money which they are earning.
That's about it for updates!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Jobbin'
Hey all, just checking in to give you an update. Shane got hired to his first job, waving a sign for a popular tax company while wearing their themed costume. It pays better than minimum wage, which he's happy about. He was also called back by the grocery store he applied at, but he told them he has limited availability as it would now be his second job (he applied to the grocery store before Christmas). His present job is temporary for the tax season and he hopes to find more good work after.
Aurora has chosen not to attend school anymore. She spent most of her day sitting around wondering what to do as the students were given assignments in the first half hour of class, then given the remaining hour to complete them. She feels she will get much more accomplished with a home curriculum.
Both girls have created flyers for their home-based businesses and have or will post them around our neighborhood. Karma's have been posted for about a week and while she hasn't gotten any calls yet, she noticed that several of the little pull tabs have been taken.
Caed remains in public school as it continues to work for him.
This concludes our update. :)
Aurora has chosen not to attend school anymore. She spent most of her day sitting around wondering what to do as the students were given assignments in the first half hour of class, then given the remaining hour to complete them. She feels she will get much more accomplished with a home curriculum.
Both girls have created flyers for their home-based businesses and have or will post them around our neighborhood. Karma's have been posted for about a week and while she hasn't gotten any calls yet, she noticed that several of the little pull tabs have been taken.
Caed remains in public school as it continues to work for him.
This concludes our update. :)
Monday, January 5, 2009
Christmas Letter
Dear Family and Friends,
As you well know, Christmas cards are late again this year. We've decided to just post our Christmas letter to our blog since we've been unable to get a family picture as we've done in years past, our eldest hates the camera. We'll add some pictures taken this year to the blog. The year has gone by so fast we scarcely realized Christmas was approaching. We finished our shopping on the 22nd of December. Many exciting things have happened this year, sit down for an interesting read.
We began the year well, living our lives with business as usual. In late February, we received a surprise, Sam’s mom called us and asked if we would like to have Sam’s oldest son, Shane, come live with us. We of course gave a resounding, “Yes,” and Shane arrived the first week of March. The same week Shane arrived, Sam, Aurora, and Karma were working as extras on a feature film entitled, “Will” due out 2009. Shortly after Shane’s arrival, he found work as an extra on the same film and met his new best friend, Austin, who lives in Austin, Texas.
Spring was both bumpy and busy for us as we went through a dichotomy shift with a new member in our household. We also continued our participation in home school socials on a weekly basis and attended monthly field trips that included a hike in a nature preserve.
Summer came quicker than we expected and we found two members of our household participating in the Landmark Forum. This was an exciting adventure for both Sam and Andrea and we highly recommend the experience to all of our family and friends.
August found us celebrating three birthdays in our household, starting with Shane, who went to a movie with friends, then enjoyed dinner at Red Lobster afterward. Caedmon celebrated his birthday at Austin’s Park and Pizza, an establishment that offers go carts, laser tag, an arcade and many other fun activities. Andrea enjoyed a reasonably quiet birthday, planning her own birthday party that a friend hosted and just having a quiet afternoon of food and conversation.
In September we headed out for the open road to keep our promise to Sam’s Grammy and see New Hampshire in the fall. Instead of driving directly to New Hampshire, we drove North out of Texas, stopping to visit with another homeschooling family in Norman, Oklahoma. From there, we drove to Minneapolis, Minnesota where we camped for two nights and visited the Mall of America. We believe the mall is so named because it has every retail store offered in America. After the mall, we drove to Michigan and visited with Andrea’s brother’s family for several days. Our last stop in September was to spend 10 days visiting with another homeschooling family outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. While there, we went up to visit with Andrea’s aunts and uncles in Franklin.
On the first of October, we finally headed to New Hampshire to visit with Sam’s family. We had a picnic lunch on the Atlantic seawall, visited a historical festival, had dinner with Sam’s aunt, lunch with his cousins, and visited Grammy several times. We also enjoyed several games of croquet at Grammy’s house. During our visit, we took a drive up into the mountains to see the fall foliage, this practice is called “leaf peeping”. After leaving New Hampshire, we drove to Vermont to see the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream factory before heading down to Raleigh, North Carolina to visit with friends that relocated earlier this year. We spent a week there and helped celebrate their son’s 16th birthday.
Upon returning to Texas, we have settled temporarily in Converse, Texas, which is just outside of San Antonio. We found a four bedroom house at a very reasonable price in a pretty quiet neighborhood. We intend to relocate outside of Texas, though it may not be until 2010. Karma participated in the Landmark Forum in December and found it to be just as exciting as Mom and Dad did. We had a good Thanksgiving with Andrea’s mom and aunt and spent Christmas with them as well.
See you in the new year!!
As you well know, Christmas cards are late again this year. We've decided to just post our Christmas letter to our blog since we've been unable to get a family picture as we've done in years past, our eldest hates the camera. We'll add some pictures taken this year to the blog. The year has gone by so fast we scarcely realized Christmas was approaching. We finished our shopping on the 22nd of December. Many exciting things have happened this year, sit down for an interesting read.
We began the year well, living our lives with business as usual. In late February, we received a surprise, Sam’s mom called us and asked if we would like to have Sam’s oldest son, Shane, come live with us. We of course gave a resounding, “Yes,” and Shane arrived the first week of March. The same week Shane arrived, Sam, Aurora, and Karma were working as extras on a feature film entitled, “Will” due out 2009. Shortly after Shane’s arrival, he found work as an extra on the same film and met his new best friend, Austin, who lives in Austin, Texas.
Spring was both bumpy and busy for us as we went through a dichotomy shift with a new member in our household. We also continued our participation in home school socials on a weekly basis and attended monthly field trips that included a hike in a nature preserve.
Summer came quicker than we expected and we found two members of our household participating in the Landmark Forum. This was an exciting adventure for both Sam and Andrea and we highly recommend the experience to all of our family and friends.
August found us celebrating three birthdays in our household, starting with Shane, who went to a movie with friends, then enjoyed dinner at Red Lobster afterward. Caedmon celebrated his birthday at Austin’s Park and Pizza, an establishment that offers go carts, laser tag, an arcade and many other fun activities. Andrea enjoyed a reasonably quiet birthday, planning her own birthday party that a friend hosted and just having a quiet afternoon of food and conversation.
In September we headed out for the open road to keep our promise to Sam’s Grammy and see New Hampshire in the fall. Instead of driving directly to New Hampshire, we drove North out of Texas, stopping to visit with another homeschooling family in Norman, Oklahoma. From there, we drove to Minneapolis, Minnesota where we camped for two nights and visited the Mall of America. We believe the mall is so named because it has every retail store offered in America. After the mall, we drove to Michigan and visited with Andrea’s brother’s family for several days. Our last stop in September was to spend 10 days visiting with another homeschooling family outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. While there, we went up to visit with Andrea’s aunts and uncles in Franklin.
On the first of October, we finally headed to New Hampshire to visit with Sam’s family. We had a picnic lunch on the Atlantic seawall, visited a historical festival, had dinner with Sam’s aunt, lunch with his cousins, and visited Grammy several times. We also enjoyed several games of croquet at Grammy’s house. During our visit, we took a drive up into the mountains to see the fall foliage, this practice is called “leaf peeping”. After leaving New Hampshire, we drove to Vermont to see the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream factory before heading down to Raleigh, North Carolina to visit with friends that relocated earlier this year. We spent a week there and helped celebrate their son’s 16th birthday.
Upon returning to Texas, we have settled temporarily in Converse, Texas, which is just outside of San Antonio. We found a four bedroom house at a very reasonable price in a pretty quiet neighborhood. We intend to relocate outside of Texas, though it may not be until 2010. Karma participated in the Landmark Forum in December and found it to be just as exciting as Mom and Dad did. We had a good Thanksgiving with Andrea’s mom and aunt and spent Christmas with them as well.
See you in the new year!!
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